Daily Message

32.8.12

Back from a day trip, do feels much better but the feeling still ain’t right. Don’t like my room started to hate it here I guess, been standing at a blank corner observing, everything in front of me seems cruel. Even the clothes, the floor, the ceiling, the fan, the table macam stabbing me.

Seriously, I can’t sleep since a weeks ago til now, awake every 5minutes then force myself stop thinking cry then fall asleep again wtf awake after 5min… terrible life. Well, best way to avoid from such lousy awaken moment, I drag myself til late sleep around 3am or 4am now like everyday. Guess what, I did HA post few one hour ago and it’s just pass 7am, imma starting with this post. Good one.

This is the only apps which I’m still using since starts using FB, I don’t bother about the accuracy actually but I like to have a little advice before I start my day. And guess what, sometimes it knows what I’m thinking, I guess, I love meaningful words that can calm myself.

How long had I carry the burdens of my mistakes?

I made a lot of mistakes eventually but I never fear of doing it and I do carry them so I learn from there. But this time, I made myself confuse. Confuse which is the mistake I’ve made, did I have the right decision, well, I guess yes. But if it’s yes, why am I still feeling confusing and suffering?

Regrets?

I’ve lotsa regrets and mostly I made them myself, like always. The indecisive me, always choose the wrong one because of my lame choosing skills and stupidity fucking idiot mind, girl, just take it.

The more I write the emo I am; heard mum awake and stopped by my doorway guess she was going to knock but she did not. Daddy is sort of stingy person, true but I was happy seeing him carrying the paint I requested without asking me a single thing. Yes, don’t ask. I’m more comfortable with being silent, now.

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